Information on Defining and Identifying Bullying

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What is NOT Bullying

• Conflicts amongst friends
• Differences of opinions
• Change in peer groups, maturity, interests, social interests.

Conflict is a part of life, it occurs in families, friendships, school, work, and in our society in general.

Adolescence is the phase of life between childhood and adulthood, from ages 10 to 19. It is a unique stage of human development.

Friendships are incredibly important during adolescence. Teen friendships help young people feel a sense of acceptance and belonging. They support the development of compassion, caring, and empathy, and they are a big part of forming a sense of identity outside the family. Moreover, adolescent friendships can be incredibly supportive in helping teens to weather difficult times.

However, part of this phase will bring conflict amongst peers, fallout, arguments and disagreements. Some friends will drift apart whilst others will become stronger.

Conflicts can be seen by parents as bullying – but this is part of growing up. Encouraging good conflict resolution skills to young people will have a beneficial impact.

The skills can help your child to establish healthy relationships, prevent youth violence, set them up for good employment opportunities, and generally be more successful in life.

Teaching conflict resolution skills to youth

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A guide to supporting young people with their friendships

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How can I help my child if they are being bullied?

If your child is being bullied, don’t panic. Your key role is listening, calming and providing reassurance that the situation can get better when action is taken.

• Listen and reassure them that coming to you was the right thing to do. Try and establish the facts. It can be helpful to keep a diary of events to share with the school or college.
• Assure them that the bullying is not their fault and that they have family that will support them. Reassure them that you will not take any action without discussing it with them first.
• Don’t encourage retaliation to bullying – such as violent actions. It’s important for children to avoid hitting or punching an abusive peer. Reacting that way has negative and unpredictable results- they may be hurt even further, and find that they are labelled as the problem. Rather suggest that they walk away and seek help.
• Find out what your child wants to happen next. Help to identify the choices open to them; the potential next steps to take; and the skills they may have to help solve the problems.
• Encourage your child to get involved in activities that build their confidence and esteem, and help them to form friendships outside of school (or wherever the bullying is taking place).

Anti-bullying Alliance

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